Travelling Swift

Stories from a Single, White, Idiotic, Female, Traveller

Paris in 13 hours

It would seem that one can travel the seven seas of this world, but put three english girls together and it becomes 'air-heads and beyond'. Starting time 1pm Friday.

Mission 1 - Get to Luton, England on time. (2.30pm)
The nightmare begins when my friend Tessa travelling from the north has her train delayed and hops in a taxi hoping to make Sheffield to Luton in one and half hours. (Pleasant dreams) No matter that this feat would be impossible, because I miss the departure gate by ten minutes, and I was only coming from London

Mission 2 - Get a new flight
The next one is fully booked, the next available is six am in the morning and Luton airport is not my preferred airport to sleep in. Following a scene that may or may not have been caught on the TV camera's present, I punch a phone and Tessa tries to destroy the concrete walls. We buy a new flight from Gatwick!!!

Mission 3 - get to Gatwick and get on the plane (8pm)
Successfully getting on the train we arrive at Gatwick and almost miss the flight due to the tempting offers of free rum from the duty free shop.

Mission 4 - arrive in Paris and arrange to meet third english girl flying in from Heathrow (10.30pm)
Two of us reach the train station a short shuttle bus ride away from the terminal. The third girl goes AWOL. One and a half hours later we re-join. I'm now sat on the floor in sheer frustration, Tessa is still trying to destroy any concrete walls she can find. Melissa is shouting at any french person in the hope of being better understood. And we've missed our last train to the South of Paris.

Mission 5 - Get a night bus (12.20am)
Successfully accomplished with the aid of a litre of Vodka in a plastic bag.

Mission 6 - Taxi to unknown destination (1.30am)
Dropped off by a church, I wonder if this is to confess our sins for trying to destroy concrete walls and phones. Our friends find us and all is good in the world once again.

French Highlights

Clubbing
Start 8pm in the evening, finish 11am the following day. What can I say, I'm not as old as I thought, though I looked 50 years older by the end of it all. And no I don't think I shall be publishing those photo's for all to see.

Monmatre
Well I lit a candle in there and prayed that my journey home may be easier, (he wasn't listening that day). Tessa suggested the confession box, but we didn't think we had a spare month to absolve all our sins.

Reggae Club
Saw a French version of Eminem, but better looking

Eiffel Tower
Well the underside of it. It would seem every tourist that exists in the world was going to queue that day. And I didn't think a bomb scare would get us any closer.

Return home
French fuel strike - need I say any more at this point!!!

I'm off to Singapore on Wednesday as I can't cope with my inability to travel in Europe.